happy sad day

I have so much things to thank God for. First of all, the fact that I made to my school's callbacks for the play Little Shop of Horrors is awesome. Second, that i actually made to the cast. Yeah, I know I should be ecstatic. But my part....im not really happy about. I tried my best and the fact that I made to the ensemble goves the idea that I'm not good enough. Yes, I do sound bratty huh? But people just don't get me. If you have parents who wants you to have a 4.0 GPA and be the perfect all the time- with social graces, friends, decison making, you'd go nuts and eventually you become a perfectionist. Like the freak that I am. It's hard to get disappointed and never tell anyone about it because well, I don't. I just write it all out. In this case, typing. The worst part is the director said that he adored my acting and singing. Why do I think that way? Because people who get the smallest part gets the most compliments there is from the director. It's totally true. I've been in drama for a long time and it actually happens. I know. I'm still a freshman. But it's so frustrating! I know there is a reason for this but I can't feeling sorry for Layla......................wait! That's me!!!!!! I've been the most responsible person, the person you can fully count on, and then I have to this sad which of course affects EVERYTHING! I just wish for once....something would go my way....